Specialist to all my families and friends, a short and simple post for you guys.
Living in this imperfect world, getting worse and worse, we will never know what will happen tomorrow. Good or bad, ups or downs, right or wrong, fair or unfair~ We will never know what we'll get tomorrow. Some of us may afraid to face tomorrow, worry of failure and unexpected things, scare that we'll do wrong again. May be we have tried so hard to be the best, but that make us stress out and yet we didn't get what we want. Mindful of why and how. Searching for better way or answer. No one can give you the answer and you are alone? Feel like giving up?
My friends, cheer up~ Put aside these things, and look at your surroundings, you'll find things that are beautiful and worth enough for us to be grateful. Don't say you can't find, search for them, indeed they exist! Just that the bad things blind folded your eyes.
No worry. Everything is in control in a mighty creator's hand. Raise your head, look at the sky, and pray if you need a miracle, He heards~ Be positive, forgets what's behind, last year, last month, last week and yesterday, look forward and run towards your dream.
Know what is the most beautiful thing in this world? It's the LOVE. Families' love, friends' love and of course God's love. He has put love in this world which makes the world so beautiful. When you are alone, there's someone cares for you. When you fall, there's someone ready to lend you a helping hand. When you are down, there's someone is praying for you. When you have sorrow, there's someone ready to listen to you. When you feel like giving up, many don't want you to.
We'll walk together. We are not made to be alone. No matter how tough we're, don't face your life on your own. Let's stay together. It's the love that makes everything beautiful, that joins us together. This love is more than enough for us to be thankful.
So, my friends, rub off your tears, put a smile on your face, and let's walk together with honesty and patience, with love. Gambateh~! ^^
Today's Sunday service was awesome! The whole sermon was like a confirmation for me. From the previous post, I said that I felt this year will be full of harvest, full of joy.
And today, our dearest Pastor Peter shared about praise and worship. He told us about the power of praising using our mouth either in spirit or mind. Praise God at anyplace and anytime. Rejoice and praise either in favorable or adverse circumstance. We praise, not only because we're so blessed physically, but we praise because of the wonderful and mighty things He has done on the cross to rescue us. Solely because of the salvation and grace we received from Him, it's worth enough for us to praise Him using all we got forever and ever. Praises bring joy, praises bring healing anointing, praises bring miracles, praises can influence situation and atmosphere, praises are so powerful as they bring great influence in spirituality and reality!
Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise Him, my Saviour and my God.
Psalm 42: 5
I will extol the LORD at all times, His praise will always be on my lips. My soul will boast in the LORD; let the afflicted hear and rejoice. Glorify the LORD with me; let us exalt His name together.
Psalm 34: 1-3
So what shall I do? I will pray with my spirit, but I will also pray with my mind; I will sing with my spirit, but I will also sing with my mind.
1 Corinthians 14: 15
I will praise You forever for what You have done; in Your name I will hope, for Your name is good. I will praise You in the presence of Your saints.
Psalm 52: 9
As years passed, I am sure that the challenges I'll face will get tougher and tougher. (One of them is my study~ Upper six already~ facing STPM~! ) But, don't know why, my heart still full of joy and excitement. Truely it's the power of praises. I will make year 2010 full of melody of praise.
Blessed are those who have learned to acclaim you, who walk in the light of your presence, O LORD.
First of all, HAPPYNEWYEAR~!!! Haha~ Goodbye 2009, and hello 2010~ Hope everyone can draw closer to their dreams in this new year.
On 31st December 2009, my church was having a watch night service. I never felt so excited before like I was on that day. I was holding on to the scripture - But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 3: 13-14) when I was attending the service. We all didn't countdown for year 2010, but we praised and worshipped from year 2009 to year 2010! We can strongly felt the presence of God in the midst of us. As we are worshipping, the healing anointing came to us and many people were healed internally and externally automatically without prayed by pastor! Everyone was praising and worshipping with spirit, I can felt that God was trying to advance our praise and worship. We really did enjoy in the praise and worship session. But... =.= the time already reached 1am on 1st January 2010. I never felt that the time flew so fast. I was like: Huh? So fast? I thought we were just started~ Can see that everyone was not satisfy and desperate for more, as they were still standing there didn't want to leave. (If every saturday and sunday the praise and worship session can be like this, it will be like heaven on earth man~ Let it be done in the name of Jesus~ AMEN~! wakakaka~)
The service ended. I went to a chair and sat down to rest a while before going back home. Meanwhile, a question came to my mind: Now, what do you want for year 2010? It's actually an ordinary question that everyone will also ask themself at the same time. But, there was a little difference: What do you want for your year 2010? / What do you want for His year 2010? For me, mine is second one, because the year is not belongs to me but Him. (I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. -Galatians 2: 20)
So, I wrote down my aims for this year in a paper. The first thing is to know Him more. And then, my aims for my cell group, family, studies, serving and my own needs. Suddenly, holy spirit reminded me that in year 2008 I actually wrote the same things also as my aims for year 2009. As a matter of fact,I am having the same aim, vision and dream, but different view, perspective and hope.
I looked back what I had gone through in year 2009. I really know Him more, His doings and His character. I really gone through lots of hardships, failures, regrets, insults, rejections, misunderstandings, temptations and disappointments. But, thank God for allowing these things appear in my life, as they drew me closer to God and made me know Him. *For hardships, I know how to face it with joy, knowing He is my strength. (But He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. -2 Corinthians 12: 9-10) *For failures and regrets, I know how to forget them. (Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. -Isaiah 43: 18) *For insults, rejections and misunderstandings, I know He sees them. (O LORD, you have heard their insults, all their plots against me. -Lamentations 3: 61) I know He will help me.(Give me a sign of your goodness, that my enemies may see it and be put to shame, for you, O LORD, have helped me and comforted me. -Psalm 86: 17) *For temptations, I know He knows my limitation. (No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it. -1 Corinthians 10: 13) I know how to watch and pray to stay away from temptation. (Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the body is weak. -Mark 14: 38) *For dissapointments, I know He is my consolation. (When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul. -Psalm 94: 19)
The most important thing is His love, His everlasting love. No matter how bad, senseless, useless, dirty, sinful I am, He still love me. Whenever I turn back and cry out to God, He listens and He welcomes me with opened arms. (The Parable of The Lost Son-Luke 15:11-32) His love is so great that He loves with no reason. His love gives me chances, His love leads me on, His love forgives me, His love teaches me, His love gives me hope. His love is more than anything.(The LORD appeared to us in the past, saying: "I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness. -Jeremiah 31:3)
Thank God that He opened my spiritual eyes so I could understand His truth.(Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free. -John 8:32) In year 2009, I not only know His truth, but I experienced the truth. Finally I understand the power of His words, which is the truth. He and His words are so close to me that I could die without His words.
As I was driving back home, I felt that in year 2010, it will be a year full of harvest. I know every seeds that I sowed with tears in year 2009, I will harvest them with joy in year 2010!(Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy. -Psalm 126: 5) I strongly believe that there will be a great harvest in this year. (Although I don't know how it could happens~) He will leads me into the great harvest. There will be lots of miracles that is beyond my expectation. My heart is full of excitement, hope and joy.
I did a prayer for this year: O God, the only thing that I asked for, is I want you to be with me all the time. That's enough. How about YOU? May God open our eyes and understand His will. God bless~
Today, I went to school and I received my report card. When I read through my report card, the result really amazed me! I can't believe that I got the first place in my class! I was like: "What? Am I dreaming? Somebody pinch me~" (...) "Ouch!" No, I'm not. At the beginning, I thought my classmate should be in the first place, and I should be in the third or forth place. And, I'm given the chance to go to the first class. I'm struggling with this matter now, because of my friends that had been spending time together with me all this while. But, it's out of topic, come back~ Haha...
It's a miracle, that I got the first place in my class. Why do I say so? It's a long story. I know, some of you would say: "You are in the second class, not the first class. What's the big deal?" Ya, indeed it's not, but for me, it's big. If you really know me, you should know that I got a bit mental problem due to some reason when I was small. (Want to know? Treat me to dinner~ xD) So, this result is impossible for me to achieve.
Because of the National Service, I'm late for form 6. It's difficult to catch up every lesson that I had missed. I had gone through lots of hardships in the process of copping with the lesson in school. I couldn't understand what was the teacher talking about all the while because all those chapters were linked with previous chapter. And, I attended no tuition class, not even one. I felt like I was left behind, felt lost. I almost crazy.
I truely agree that studying in form 6 is not easy. Add on, the system changed by the government this year. We're like white mice used for experiment. It's suffering to study everyday from morning until 4 o'clock in the afternoon. Not enough time to finish homework. Not enough rest. It's not that I'm lazy to go for tuition, it's because I have no time. I'm serious, it's not an excuse.
Why? Everyday after school, other than bathing and having meal, I will spend my time to do my devotion. And then, I will do my follow-up as in call them using telephone, drive to bring them out for fellowship or even go to their house. Most of the time I was praying for them. I have no time for my own work.I'm not here to show off how holy and committed to God am I. As usual, I really struggled a lot in doing decision between God's work and my own business. I almost gave up because I had no time to study.
But, I hold on to His promises: The fear of the LORD is the beginning of the wisdom, and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.
Proverbs 9:10
Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the LORD and shun evil. This will bring health to your body and nourishment to your bones. Honor the LORD with your wealth, with the first fruits of all your crops; then your barns will be filled to overflowing, and your vats will brim over with new wine.
Proverbs 3:5-10
But now the LORD declares: 'Far be it from me! Those who honor me I will honor, but those who despise me will be disdained.'
1 Samuel 2:30
I know it's damn stupid and idiot holding on to these impossible promises, but I'm sure that my God is not the one died on the cross, He is the One resurrected and has conquered the grave. He is an ever living God!What He said does. His promises are my only hope that I rely on. I trust in His promises.
Other than this, many should know that I'm going to futher my studies in America. Many of my classmate ask me why I still want to waste my time in form 6. I tell you why. I study not for my own purpose, but God. God called me to go for form 6 and I'm there. I don't really understand His calling actually. I felt like giving up many times. I remembered I did a prayer like this: "Lord, I can't stand anymore. If this really your calling, bless me in my final examination. Or else, I'm out! I don't to waste my time in form 6."
He heard my every cry. He answered my every prayer. My main purpose here is to glorify His name. I did it, not by my strength, but by the power from above! He is the beginning of wisdom. He is faithful forever.
"Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will never pass away."
Matthew 24:35
For the Son of God, Jesus Christ, who was preached among you by me and Silas and Timothy, was not "Yes" and "No," but in him it has always been "Yes." For no matter how many promises God has made, they are "Yes" in Christ. And so through him the "Amen" is spoken by us to the glory of God.
2 Corinthians 1:19-20
Whatever He said, He will never keep back.
I don't care how the others criticise about me. I will stand strong and firm for His cause. I'm not studying to enter a better university. I'm not studying to get a better job in future. I'm studying for His glory! I'm insane I know, and I'll always be. xD Thank God! Love ya!
Thanks to the professional photographer from Hong Kong and our beloved Eason who did the touch out. But, is there any relation between my topic today and this photo? Ya~ If you search inside this photo, surely you won't find me. You may say: "Ya of course, there were too many people and the photo is too small." If there is computer software that can magnifies this photo until you can see every face, even their pimples, still you can’t find me. Why I’m so sure? Because I hided myself. I remembered tears running in my eyes that time.
In the past 2 years’ 54christ conferences, I used to do something extraordinary when taking the photo in order to get attention of everyone, but exception for this year.
Many people asked me, “What happened to you?”, “Why you became so quiet?”. And I’m here to answer you, I don’t know. Since when I came back from National Service, EVERYTHING changed. I was totally lost. I was trying to cope with the flow of my family, church, friends and education, but I failed to do so. I lost the joy of serving and worshipping, even the joy of living. That was my deepest valley in my life. Everything seems wrong and was driving me crazy. My sheep all lost, no more song leading, no more dance, relationship problem, education problem, everyone was like didn’t know me anymore. I was left alone in the valley. Many times I felt like giving up, leaving the church and just let myself degenerate in this world. Many times I fell on my knees and broke into tears because of the struggle. A lot of questions why in my mind and I couldn’t figure it out.
Thank God. He will never leave me alone. He sent encourager to me, to cheer me up spiritually and physically. Special thanks to my cell group, my leader, Evan, my brothers, Eason, FeiYee, Edward, JianLiang, Victor and also my beloved sheep, Edric, Roland, Thomas and Johnson. They really encouraged me a lot indirectly. I was touched by His love again. Although those problems still exist, I’m different now as I have the strength to face them. I could never express how good He is and how great is His work in my life using my own words.
Yet, sometimes I will miss the past, especially my dancers: Eason, Vicky, Eugene, Jay, Joshua, Joey, Joey (the other one), Libing, Aaron, Sky, Phebe, Vivian, YanHao, JieYing, Lolz and many others. The time we practise together, choreograph performance together, pray together, seek God together, have devotion together, exercise together, shopping together, praise together, serve together, full of joy and sorrow, ups and downs, true and false, still we are together. We choreograph until late night together before. When one of us are praised, we rejoice together; when one of us faced problem, we pray and face together. It was just like a movie. These memories I can’t forget. But now, some of them are lost and some were sent to other places. Can we all unite someday? It’s a mystery. If this could happen, surely it’s a miracle.
Joshua and me were doing puppet posses~ Haha~ This photo very long ago one.
After performing for Christmas celebration, in fancy clothing. Taking picture with brothers from sarawak. (They are cool~ Haha~)
Performing in 54christ conference. (see me? xD)
And me? Should I say I’m one of the lost ones or the ones who were sent to other places? Why I’m not in the dance ministry already? Many people ask me why, and say that they miss my dancing. I don’t know actually. It’s not I don’t want to, I would like to go back. I asked God many times, but He seems like keep silence.When the time is right, He will put me back. I may not understand now why He want to do so. I think it's time for me to learn how to hide myself, really humble myself. I successfully bring glory to myself, therefore now, I deserve this. I really learned a lot in this period of time. I learned how tolay down my life for Him, serve behind the cross, serve without people's attention. Let the others see Him but not me. (He must become greater; I must become less.-John 3:30) This is what I always say: because now I'm still serving as a vocal, after serving, if anybody (except the PA man and musicians) tell me that they can't hear my voice, then that's it! As I know I already did my best to back-up the song leader. God knows~
Every time I walk by the hall which we used to practise inside, every time I hear the music coming out from the hall, I really feel like going in, but I force myself not to. I missed every single dancer, although we quarrelled due to different idea sometimes, but I will never forget our promises. Our dream to become a profession internationally, our aim to become the best among the best, our passion to win souls using dance. I will never forget, never~
Ow man~ I feel like crying if I continue some more. Before I end, I would like to say something to my dancers: Guys, no matter what, I will never forget our dream. Even though I'm not with you guys, but my soul will. I will pray for you guys because I'm a praying dancer. Gambateh! Never give up! Dance for intergrity and purity!
I know my life is in God's hand. So, there is no need for me to worry. I truely believe everything is in God's will and His plan is always the best. Still I'm living a successful life even these things happened, because I love Him and He loves me. (And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.-Romans 8:28)
I decided to make this blog just to let everyone know what am I thinking, as many people told me that I'm a complicated person. I admit that I'm weak in expressing myself using words. Here am I to tell you what is happening in my life. I'm not here to release tension nor let everyone knows my problem, I'm here to help. Hope my testimonials do help you guys. God bless~ With love~
People would ask why I like to call myself puppet. I tell you why. At first, my friend gave me this nickname, because I look like puppet when I dance. And then, my dancers started to call me using that nickname. Seriously, I don't really like the name actually at the beginning. But, I realised that this name got another spiritual meaning. A puppet needs its owner to perform. No matter how expensive, how creatively made, how beautiful is the puppet, it still needs a master to control it from above via strings. Only with its master, the puppet can perform to the maximum, as the master understand the things that he created. And me? Ya, I'm created by my Father in heaven above. I don't understand myself. I don't know my living purpose. The sole way is to completely surrender myself to Him. Let Him incharge, let Him control. He understand clearly why He created me. Under His mighty hands, I can live a successful life. A life that the world can NEVER tell us, as we are created by Him, not by the world, nor transformed from monkeys of course. I know my living purpose, not only on earth, but for eternal life. So, how about you? Ask yourself.
